Helpful Tips to Improve Your Marriage

If you have read this far, you should be well on your way to improving your marriage-- not only resolving the difficulties which led you to read this book in the first place, but also to make your marriage stronger, healthier, and happier than you had ever expected it could be. Instead of summarizing a book which you have already read, perhaps you will find some additional tips to be helpful! Depending on your own experience, you may or may not already know how often seemingly-small things can add up to huge problems or confrontations; and this is especially true for overworked, over-tired adults who can occasionally or frequently say or do something without realizing that it may have an impact. When you are in the process of reconstructing your marriage and your relationship with your spouse, one important point to keep in mind is that while spontaneity in action can create enjoyable results, being too spontaneous with speech often does not! While this does not mean having to carefully guard everything that you say, it is most beneficial to your new found communication if you develop the habit of thinking before you speak. Too often it happens that a person at the end of a long, exhausting day will blurt out something hurtful, or something which will be misinterpreted. Be careful with your words-- for they have great impact, for better or for worse! You may be familiar with the old saying that honesty is the best policy. In the interest of your marriage and your relationship, it is a good idea to balance that saying with "be kind." Whether the subject is something which you yourself would consider trivial, such as your wife appearing ten pounds heavier in her new outfit, or whether you have made the mistake of being drawn into the popular "honesty kick" where nothing whatsoever should be kept private, balance your truthfulness with the knowledge of how what you wish to say will impact your spouse's feelings. If your marriage is your priority, do your best to eliminate distractions. In an average couple's life, there are already more than enough distractions in everyday life; it is neither necessary nor recommended to emphasize the past over the present-day. Unless there is something which could truly have an impact on your marriage or your life, leave your past in the past. While adult life does contain some degree of negativity, you will be promoting the health and happiness of your marriage, as well as both your spouse and yourself, if you develop the habit of focusing on the positives. In other words, if there is something which needs to be dealt with or addressed, by all means do it-- but resist the impulse to make complaining a part of your everyday life.

When you have come to terms with the differences between Yours, Mine, and Ours, it is essential to grant enough time to each. Constant togetherness is not only unhealthy, it is a direct opposition to many people's personalities. While you should be sure to make plenty of time for togetherness, it is just as important to grant personal time and space to both your spouse and yourself.

If you feel the need for professional advice or intervention, by all means seek the help that you need. If, however, your marriage simply needs a little closer examination, resolving of basic difficulties, and better communication, all it takes is the willingness and motivation on your part and your spouse's part to gain all of this valuable insight and turn your marriage into a lifelong love!